I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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