physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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