i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
