I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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