two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
