He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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