dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
