butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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