My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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