my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize