so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have already put on my inside pants.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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