Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
