You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
