WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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