Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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