bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Randomize
