how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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