the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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