help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
