he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
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the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
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I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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