I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
