Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
