I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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