Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
