In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
