5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
