I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
