You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Never underestimate the power of titties