Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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