I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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