at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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