who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Floor bacon is actually really good
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
