At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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