I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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