She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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