Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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