She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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