i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
