standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
