Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
