Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Buhtt sex?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
