I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
