i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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