My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
