I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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