haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
