So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
