this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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