Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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