There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
