after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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