i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
