true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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