what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
