she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
