Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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