that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
