I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
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The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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