margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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