if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I can't turn off my feet"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
