Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
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Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize